Extra! Extra! Read All About It!

I spoke with Mr. Wikipedia yesterday and I’m happy to report (Because that’s what reporters do.) that he thinks I’ve got a real shot at a Pulitzer. I’m delighted, surprised and flattered to receive such high praise, so early in my reporting career.

This is so EXCITING! I’m practically bouncing off the walls.

As most of you know, I’ve only been blogging since March, so getting the news that I’m on the short-list for a Pulitzer is a pretty BIG DEAL. I can’t BELIEVE this is all happening so quickly. I’ve not even finished writing my article and it’s already being recognized as a top pick for a Pulitzer Prize. This is SO AMAZING. I can’t wait to tell mom the news.

Since I’m practically a Pulitzer Prize Winner already, I think I should come clean and tell you the truth about my conversation with Mr. Wikipedia before a scandal breaks out.

This is very difficult for me, but they say that the truth will set you free—and I wanna be set free!

Well, the truth is . . . I . . .

Let me try this again.

Well, the truth is . . . When I said . . .

I can’t believe this is so hard to admit.

Okay, enough of this. I’m gonna be free of this burden.

The truth is . . . I didn’t actually speak with Mr. Wikipedia.

Okay! There I said it.

The truth is, I’m not actually sure who I talked to, but I am confident they knew Mr. Wikipedia and could speak on his behalf.

I think I was speaking to a his hair dresser’s cousin, twice-removed . . . or someone who dated in him kindergarten . . .  or used to groom his ferret . . I’m really not completely clear on what the connection is, but I’m unwaveringly confident that they are a reliable source.

After a lengthy and heated discussion, my unnamed source—we’ll call Seam Ripper—felt that I needed to actually answer the 5 W questions, and not just list them.

Hmmmmm . . . Why didn’t I think of that?

This kind of insight is what I’ve come to expect from an authority like Mr. Wikipedia or someone who is in his inner circle—like Seam Ripper.

Mr. Wikipedia is practically Yoda. I wonder if he’s a Jedi?

Okay, I’m gonna follow Mr. W’s (Seam’s) advice and answer the 5 Ws.

My notes say that the first question I need to ask is . . .

Who Is It About?
Detailed artist rendering. Not actual photograph.

First question asked . . . Check!

First question answered . . . Check!

WOW! That was easy. I need to start clearing off a book shelf for all those Pulitzers that will be coming my way.

Now, what’s the second question on Mr. W’s list?

Says here . . . The next question is . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

This concludes Part 2 of my ground-breaking and often times, hard-hitting investigative report. Stay tuned for more button-popping details.


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11 Responses to “Extra! Extra! Read All About It!”

  1. jayardi Says:

    • • • Your “who” are so cute. Did you just invent them so you could write this story?

    • Tom Russell Says:

      Cute? These are dramatic recreations that are ALMOST photographic in their realism. Well, that’s the way I see them anyway. 🙂

  2. Thearica Says:

    As Roscoe P. Coltrain would say… “I love it, I love it!:” 🙂

    • Tom Russell Says:

      Hi Thearica, I appreciate your support. I did the best I could to accurately portray this individuals. Hopefully I’ll find some real photos before I finish this hard-hitting report.

  3. Jackie Says:

    I love her! She’s a cutie patooty! How about next Fiday? I will e-mail you the details.

    • Tom Russell Says:

      Hey there, Glad you like her. I do too. I especially love the flower in her hair. It’s one of the new buttons I got from my mom and stepdad.

      See you Saturday. I’m ready to celebrate National Cheesecake Day!

  4. Brenda Horton Says:

    Doggone, I couldn’t see the picture/rendering/whatever!!!

  5. Brenda Horton Says:

    OK, be some “intervention” I actually did get the pic. just now.

    • Tom Russell Says:

      Hi Brenda, I’m glad you were finally able to see the picture. I was concerned for minute. I hope you’ll stay tuned for the rest of the story.

  6. Dawn Brumfield Says:

    I’m just revisiting your blog after a few months absence and I am really confused. What is going on??? in a nutshell…Looks like fun, but I’m so out of the loop.

    • Tom Says:

      Hi Dawn, I’m glad you’re back. A lot has been going on. I’m about to tell you what this is all about. Oh yeah, it’s fun. Big time fun.

      You’re not out of the loop at all. You’ve got here just in time.

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