Extra! Extra! Extra! Read All About It!

Mr. Wikipedia says that if I am really serious about getting this Pulitzer, I need to get to the meat of the matter. He (actually Seam Ripper) said I have to tell the story in a way that will keep readers hanging on my every word.

Mr. W. (aka Seam Ripper) suggested I use every gimmick I could think of to make my readers want to come back for more. I LOVE this idea, but I don’t have a vast arsenal of gimmicks lying around.

Because I don’t have gimmicks lying around my studio, I thought I’d buy some. (Actually, I do have one gimmick. It’s still in its box. I’m sure you’ve seen it before. The name on the box says . . But wait, there’s more! It’s a classic.)

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking . . . Tom?. . .  Seriously? . . . Where do you buy gimmicks? . . . Is that even possible?

The answer is simple my friends . . . the Internet.

Since I’m practically a Pulitzer Prize-winning reporter—and obviously pretty savvy about how to get things done—the first place I went to buy gimmicks was Amazon. Amazon’s gimmicks are the best and they have lots of them.

Unfortunately, they were WAY too spendy for my budget. I think I’ll wait until after I win the Pulitzer to buy gimmicks from them. I don’t feel too bad about this decision, it appears that most of the gimmick reviews were mixed. Some people fell for them and others didn’t. If I’m going to pay full retail for a gimmick, I want a sure thing.

What to do? . . . What to do? . . .

That’s when it hit me. I’ll buy a few used gimmicks on Ebay!

After making this very fiscally sound decision, I surfed on over to Ebay and entered my search criteria. (Visualize clock spinning.)

Each search came up empty. 😦

This made me very sad. 😦 😦

I mean, very very sad. 😦 😦 😦

I knew I needed gimmicks—but couldn’t afford them—so with no other options available, I went back to Mr. Wikipedia (Seam Ripper) for help. Seam said that if I couldn’t afford gimmicks, I should consider using images to help tell my story.

He suggested that images would make my story more engaging and they had the added benefit of being cheaper. To this suggestion, I replied, “Sure, that’s a great idea—but I’d prefer to buy gimmicks.”

Then I asked Seam if he’d buy them for me, and went on to say that I’d happily pay him on Tuesday. (The Tuesday after I received my Pulitzer.) When he finally stopped laughing (10 minutes later), he said, “No.”

So, there I was. No money for gimmicks. No financial support from Seam.

As I saw it, I had only one option left.

I MUST find images to keep my story alive and on the fast track for a Pulitzer. With that goal in mind,  I turned my office upside down looking for images.

I searched and I searched—for what seemed like hours—but was more likely seconds. I knew I needed to find an image that captured the moment completely. I needed an image that would tell the whole story at a glance.

That’s when I found it . . .

I found an image that captured the essence the story in a matter of seconds, and more importantly answered this critical journalistic question . . .

What Happened?

Detailed artist rendering of first exchange between him, her and me.

Whew! I was sweating that one.

Wow! That was really stressful, but SO worth it. (I think I need to take a shower.)

Now that this part of the story is in the bag, it’s time to move on to the next question. (Bring it on! Daddy needs a Pulitzer!)

Where’s my list? (I’m on a roll now!)

Oh, here it is. (Whoo Hoo! Ain’t no stoppin us now!)

First question asked . . . Check!  First question answered . . . Check!

Second question asked . . . Check! 

Second question answered and accompanied by captivating visuals . . . Check!

WOW! This keeps getting easier and easier.

I’m definitely clearing off that shelf. (I wonder if there is a Pulitzer for captivating and thought-provoking imagery?)

Okay, now that question two has been taken care of, what’s next?

Says here . . . The next question is . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

This concludes Part 3 of my ground-breaking and often times, hard-hitting, fully-illustrated investigative report. Stay tuned for more button popping and seam ripping details.


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10 Responses to “Extra! Extra! Extra! Read All About It!”

  1. Kathy Colvin Says:

    Finally, a smiley face!

  2. jayardi Says:

    • • • Well, you definitely have me hanging on every word, but I’m not sure what’s going on yet,

  3. Carol Anderson Says:

    I’m going to nominate you for the Pullet Surprise (groans welcome) with those chickens and your refusal to actually divulge what you’re up to.

    • Tom Russell Says:

      Hi Carol, Why, thank you. I am flattered and am humbled by this nomination. Thank you.

      Will there be an awards ceremony? Can I invite my mother? I wouldn’t be here today if if weren’t for her.

  4. Linda Says:

    Yep, I’ll vote for you on the Pullet Surprise, some good writing going on here, can’t wait to see where it’s going.

    • Tom Russell Says:

      Hi Linda, Thanks. I appreciate your support. Do you think I should run an ad in the New York Times, thanking the nominating committee?

  5. Carol Anderson Says:

    Hmmm, Awards Ceremony for the Pullet Surprise? I’ll work on that one. Expect a private email soon! How’s that for a teaser?

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