Extra! Extra! Extra! Extra! Read All About it!

Since this totally hard-hitting, behind-the-scenes, action-packed, over-the-top and completely overly hyphenated story is going so well, I thought I’d answer the next question on the list—which pretty much guarantees me a Pulitzer for investigative journalism.

So . . . the next mile marker question on my road to being a multi-award winning reporter is . . .

When Did It Take Place?

Repeat of detailed artist rendering with date stamp added.

Ya-Hooo!!! I’ve done it! I’m covered three of the 5 Ws and I’m barely breaking a sweat. Two Ws to go, and it’s off to Pulitzerville to pick up my prize.

I know I shouldn’t get carried away with the idea of getting a Pulitzer—but come on—have you been reading this stuff? This report has all the elements of any great Pulitzer Prize-winning story. There are questions. There are answers. It’s filled of hyphens, exclamation points, multiple M-dashes and practically endless ellipsis—and if that weren’t enough—it even has emoticons thrown in to take it completely over the top.

As far as I’m concerned it’s a PSD. (Pulitzer Slam Dunk, for those of you not in-the-know.)

In spite of the accolades that I’m sure to receive when the story is complete, I know I can’t sit on my laurels (I did that recently and broke one. Don’t worry though, I was able to fix it. Thank God for Magic Putty.), because I still have more of the story to write.

As legendary reporter Lois Lane always say . . . “Kent . . . You’re only as good as your last story.” I’m not Kent or Clark, but I got the message loud and clear. I need to get cracking on the next installment.

Now, where’s that list?

How do I keep losing it?

Oh . . . there it is.

Hey, it’s stuck.

You are NOT going to believe this.

My list was stuck to my laurels. I guess Magic Putty takes longer to dry than I thought.

Oh well . . . whatcha gonna do?

I know what I’m gonna do.

I’ve gonna finishing writing this story—by gum—what ever that means.

Okay? . . . Ready? . . . Here we go . . .

The next question I need to answer is . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

This concludes Part 4 of my ground-breaking, suspense-filled, and often times, hard-hitting, fully illustrated investigative report. Stay tuned for more button popping, seam ripping and thread-breaking details.


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6 Responses to “Extra! Extra! Extra! Extra! Read All About it!”

  1. Eileen Keane Says:

    I’m getting concerned about you, Tom. The Pulitzer isn’t the be all and end all you know. There’s always the Nobel if you need it.

    • Tom Russell Says:

      What? You mean there are other reporting awards I could win?

      Let me write this down. NO BELL prize. Are there any others that would appreciate my style of reporting?

      Oh, never mind. I’m sure that once I win the Pulitzer, they give me the award too. It’s like whoever wins the Screen Actors Guild Award wish the Oscar.

      I definitely think I’m gonna need more than one shelf for all these awards.

  2. jayardi Says:

    • • • I agree, what about your quilting? I hope you are not giving up on your quilting in your desperate pursuit of the Pulitzer.

    • Tom Russell Says:

      No, I’ve not giving up quilting. Quilting is still going on, but this news is far too important to be known only by me.

      That’s why I’m doing everything I can to tell you about it. I want my readers need to be the first to know what’s happening.

      This isn’t a desperate pursuit for a Pulitzer, it’s about reporting the news. The Pulitzer is just a fortunate and well-deserved by-product of that coverage. 🙂

  3. jessica Says:

    Love these Extra! posts. I’m gonna be the last person to know what’s going on… but I love it just the same!

    I’m sitting here at the computer, laughing-out-loud and people want to know what is so funny (they aren’t in the same room so I’ll just shout to them, the word “laurels”)… they can make what they want from that!

    When: October 2010 …Hmmmm

    • Tom Russell Says:

      Hi Jessica, I have to admit. I laughed when I wrote that too.

      Yes, October. Something special happens each October . . . I wonder if you know what it is?

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